There’s a lot of chatter about unhealthy relationships. You know… if it’s a significant other. But when it comes to our everyday relationships, our friendships, there isn’t a lot being said. And in this day and age, it’s important that we actually have these conversations because there are those that will leach the joy right out of our lives.
- Summer vacation is rapidly coming to a close. I’m not totally said. But I’m not totally happy either. I miss the normalcy, I miss the routine. But I will totally miss my kids.
- One of the things I learned over the summer is that I had been making excuses for another person to treat me poorly. Rather than allow myself to put a stop to unhealthy behavior, I absorbed the blame and told myself that I was feeling off by interactions because I was tired, overwhelmed, introverted, etc.
- What was actually happening is that I was in a relationship with a person who was insecure with their own success. That insecurity led this person to belittle, berate and criticize much of what I had been doing. Even going as far as to leave me feeling as though I was a failure at everything.
- Accepting you are in an unhealthy relationship is an important first step. Once you acknowledge it, you can take a step back. You need to allow yourself some time to feel, some time to really understand where the dysfunction started and how it’s impacted you.
- Have those tough conversations. If you care about the other person, and you most likely do or this wouldn’t even be an issue, you’ll want to make sure to talk to them. Have a conversation where you acknowledge your feelings. But be careful. You don’t want to use accusatory statements like “You make me feel XYZ.” Instead, use statements that express where you are. “I feel like I’m not of value when this happens.”
- If the relationship is salvageable, work at it. If not, walk away. Sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is move on.